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today i am catching up on school work, which i feel way behind. and also enjoying coffee and the atmosphere of merridee's in downtown franklin.
this past tuesday night, i had the privilege of listening to siran stacy at kairos. i didn't know much about siran's story, other than he was an alabama football player from 89-91 and played nfl for a few years. the only prep i had was that he was going to be sharing his testimony and that some of his family and him were involved in a car wreck. (if you would like to hear his sermon, email me and i can send you the link!) i don't think anyone who went to kairos tuesday was prepared for what they would hear. siran has such a powerful testimony and it is evident that the Lord is using this in an amazing way. almost 5 years ago, he and his family (2 kids from a previous relationship prior to his wife, his wife, and 3 kids from his wife) were driving to visit family for the holidays. a drunk driver struck their car and others and killed his wife, the 2 children from the previous relationship, and 2 of the 3 children from his wife. only he and one of the daughters, shelly, survived. he was in a coma for a week, shelly was flown to a hospital in birmingham. for a week in his coma state,  he had no recollection of what happened. after getting out of the hospital, he was told by doctors he would not remember and would not remember that his family was killed (all but shelly). he buried the 2 girls from the previous relationship in a town in alabama and that same day drove to another town and buried his wife, 9 year old son, and 2 year old daughter. the pastor at that funeral home had to remind siran that they were gone.
first of all, siran started with verses from revelation 12...
"and i heard a loud voice in heaven saying, 'Now the salvation and the power and the kingdom of our God and the authority of his Christ have come, for the accuser of our brothers has been thrown down, who accuses them day and night before our God. And they have conquered him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony, for they loved not their lives even unto death'".
siran's story spoke much of OVERCOMING. but after burying his family and having to raise a little girl on his own, the burden and emotions and anger he dealt with were so immense and real and he shares that as part of his testimony. he talked about his anger with God and unforgiveness in his heart towards the person who killed his family. but the blood of Christ and the power of the Holy Spirit gave him strength to overcome. and he met God that day he cried out to Him asking Him why these things had happened to him and how could he go on. the realness of his emotions and crying out to God were humbling and moving to hear. we all have things we are dealing with- pain, suffering, unforgiveness, anger, bitterness, etc.- we all have cried out to the Lord over something. i loved these verses that he said he looked at and after his anger and emotions came out towards God these came to him-
psalm 142:1-3
With my VOICE i cry out to the LORD, with my voice i plead for mercy to the Lord. i pour out my complaint before him, i tell my trouble before him. when my spirit FAINTS within me, you know my way! in the path where i walk they have hidden a trap for me...i cry to you o Lord i say you are my refuge my portion in the land of the living, attend to my cry for i am brought very low!

i love those verses. i love how they speak honesty and sincerity and humility and show our need for our God. i love that siran knew Scripture backwards and forwards. i love how he was so passionate about his faith and the Lord's work in his testimony and sharing that with others. he talked about forgiveness and how he finally came to forgive the man who killed his family and referenced luke 23:34- "and Jesus said FATHER forgive them, for they know not what they do".
part of why sometimes i dont believe or focus on the power of Scripture is because i don't always find it easy to believe this verse siran used and i know siran truly believes-
heb 4:12
for the word of God is LIVING and active, sharper than any 2 edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart. and no creature is hidden from his sight, but all are naked and exposed to the eyes of him to whom we must give account.

i am so moved by his love for God, the work of the Holy Spirit in his life and in his heart, and i am moved in a desire to want to know God more and love Him more and love His Word more and be so reliant on Him and on the Word that is LIVING and active.

bike ride, done.

40 miles. i never thought i would bike...and never thought i would enjoy biking so much. today i did the bluff city ride- 40 miles long. it was FREEZING, but sunny and warm by the end of it. i went out to do this not knowing anyone, and ran into a friend who introduced me to some people that i rode with most of the way. let me mention that iw as one of the few AGAIN with a mountain bike. we stopped a few times along the way at food/water stops which was fun. everyone likes to come up to you and make friendly conversation. everyone is really encouraging and so nice, which is SO helpful when you are by yourself and discouraged because you are self conscious about riding a mountain bike and non windproof clothing. the whole time i was riding though, i was thinking about a quote that is so familiar, "What matters is not necessarily the size of the dog in the fight - it's the size of the fight in the dog." - Dwight D. Eisenhower. this is definitely a stretch, but i thought about my bike---what matters is not necessarily whether i had a mountain bike or road bike, although a road bike would have been to my advantage and made the ride easier, but what matters is the size of the fight in me or the willpower in my heart to finish the race. i THEN paralleled it to different things (this is what happens when you are riding by yourself listening to music and deep thoughts start creeping in). i paralleled it to my walk with Christ but extended it further to loving people and forgiveness and all different aspects of my spiritual life. it doesn't necessarily matter the tools i have to love people or the abilities or skills- each person is uniquely gifted and made- what matters is my heart and the "size of the fight in me" to love when it's hard or to forgive someone who has wronged me. i just continued to think about this as i was riding and in the up and down struggles and hills of life, we may have a road bike or a mountain bike, and what matters is the fight inside of us- are we willing to press on- are we willing to love and forgive during the hills/struggles- etc. this is such a stretch of using the Eisenhower quote, but i was in awe during those moments of how God uses different things or struggles or people to point our thoughts to Him and i'm thankful today for that!