as the deer pants for the water brooks, so my soul pants for you O God. psalm 42:1

may this verse become my prayer. i had a successful long run yesterday of 10 miles. 8 outside in the beautiful sunny weather and 2 on the horrendous, squeaky 1990 treadmill we have in our house. when you run on it, it sounds like a stampede of buffalo or some other kind of large animal trampling along. i was running yesterday and listening to a mix of nickelcreek, ingram hill, bebo norman, hillsong, and carrie underwood. all uplifting music...and i get chills when i hear the one song by bebo that's entitled "pull me out". these are some of the lyrics:
"I can’t get my feet off of the ground
I wanna run but I don’t know how
Can you reach me here and pull me out
Can you pull me out,
I wanna scream but there’s no sound
I wanna fly to you somehow
Can you reach down here and pull me out
Can you pull me out
Not a moment too soon
You will be my rescue
But tell me how long will it take?"
right now at this point in my life i feel like these words capture what i cry out daily to the Lord. "i can't get my feet off the ground, i want to run but i don't know how", and wanting the Lord to reach down and pull me out---and asking over and over, "Lord, how long will this take?" it seems like studying for the board exam will never end...and when i'm running, the miles seem like they never end. but the Lord is our rescue, He is our trust and strength. HE is our exceeding joy. and as we run in this life (or walk if we enjoy that less strenuous but just as good approach to get our blood flowing), we pant...and we are all "panting" for something. and may we pant for God and thirst for HIM. He is living and will pull us out if we only would seek Him. in psalm 42, the psalmist says of God--- "therefore, I remember you from the land of the Jordan and the peaks of Hermon, from Mt. Mizar ("smallness"). deep calls to deep at the sound of your WATERFALLS; all your breakers and your waves have rolled over me. the Lord will command His lovingkindness in the daytime; and His song will be with me in the night, a prayer to the God of my life". we are thirsty and He fills us...with lovingkindness.
these verses just came to mind as yesterday, i was out of breath, and panting i guess like a deer. and thirsty for water afterwards. again, another analogy of a runner and life.
life is a marathon..."my soul pants for you, O GOD".

oh, and here's a pic of my new shoes :)

one step at a time...

from the wise words of jordin sparks, every day comes as "one step at a time". this is a concept that enters my mind every time i have to run a long run. tomorrow i plan to run around 10 miles and am NOT looking forward to it. i'm planning on changing up my playlist a little bit and maybe listening to one of cole huffman's sermons. i highly recommend running along to a sermon or making a playlist beforehand of a really random mix. i am known for my random mixes! i bought some new tennis shoes today...i'm planning on taking a picture of them and posting it here on the blog.
i need some good recommendations of podcasts or sermons to listen to while running. my race date is april 23, 2010 in nashvegas! i am very excited and hoping that my time is better than last time. my long run has been around 8-9 every week, and the best one so far was one where i didn't have my ipod charged and i was so bummed. so i headed out onto my street without any music (which i tend to depend on). and instead, i got so flustered by the silence and just started praying in my mind for different things and just talked to the Lord for a while...maybe at 4ish miles, my brain got a little tired. but that was one of the most uplifting and GOOD runs i have had in a while. although, it was maybe 40 degrees outside!
tomorrow's weather looks a little promising, highs in upper 40's or lower 50's, partly cloudy (some sun).
pics of the shoes to come! they are asics...and i'm pretty much obsessed with them. i think they make me look taller.
ohhhh- and a little side note, it is girl scout cookie season (as if everyone didn't already know...) and i bought tag-a-longs and thin mints today at kroger. yes, i wrote a check for $7.00 to troop 58 for cookies. and they are worth every penny :)
we'll see how the run goes tomorrow. update soon! and i'll also add some recipes for good post and pre-run foods, because eating is one of my other favorite things to do---how ironic!!

life is a marathon...

i have used this analogy before, but i feel that life is like a marathon race. about 2 years ago, i ran in the country music full marathon---yes, 26.2 miles. i subjected myself to that intense suffering because running a marathon was one of my goals in life...it was on my "list" of things to do and it was something i wanted to accomplish. thankfully, my dad is a runner and "trained", and actually ended up finishing before i did. i guess my dad was also sortof my inspiration to do the marathon. i can tell you that before my freshman year of college, i absolutely HATED running. i mean, i despised it. the pain and agony i felt when my feet hit the pavement was something that took alot of time for me to get past. i maybe could run 2 miles back in high school (without passing out). although, every time i finished 2 miles, i felt like i was going to die! one time, i remember starting on a run with my dad (who is an avid runner and runs about 4 miles a day), and i just started breathing really hard and started slowing down. of course my dad was still continuing on...and instead of admitting my out-of-shapeness, i started crying and said, "my knee hurts, i'm turning around and going home!" when really, my knee didn't hurt. i just felt so out of breath and didn't think i could keep up with my dad. and i hate running behind people. even though it is a good motivator, i hate being behind someone who doesn't have the same pace as me. it is not comfortable for me. anyway, around sophomore year of college is when i started to love running. and i wanted to train for a half marathon. so in 2007, i ran my first half in nashville...the next year i wanted to try for the full! so i trained, and trained....and trained. which seemed neverending. there were days where i could get in the zone after getting 6 miles into the run---nothing could touch me, nothing phased me, i could just run and run and run. then there were days where i felt "ok", but i had to depend on my music or a sermon to get me through the run. and then there were days devoted to long runs...where i would have to run up to 15-17 miles in training. oh my word, i can't describe to you the regret and pain i felt during those runs. WHY am i training for this? am i out of my mind? there is no way i will be able to run 26.2 miles! sometimes, my friends would meet me at different points of my long-run training routes and run with me, which was fun! but i am not a talker during runs...i listen to my music or sermons and focus on breathing and not passing out. training was maybe the hardest part of that entire experience. then, the day of the race. a little rainy, cold, and early in the a.m. my dad and i made the trek from our hotel to the race...while my mom stayed behind with her umbrella and rain jacket in hand to meet us at the finish line. can words even express how i felt during different points of the 26.2 miles (if i could even "feel" anything?) 2 of my friends from auburn were running it also, and i ended up finding them on the course...i remember getting chills and feeling so encouraged to see familiar faces! there is something about the "community" feel of running in a huge crowd of people...it's sort of like those intense volleyball practices in high school. you sure disliked them, but the fact that you were suffering with others made it so much better, and you bonded with those people! i remember around mile 17 or 18, i just felt my body shutdown. i had hit the wall and i remember praying, "Lord, bring me across the finish line! give me strength!" i could hear the people on the side lines all along the course yelling for everyone and cheering us on! and the bands were encouraging! and the weather was slowly getting better---sunnier, warmer! and around mile 20-24 i was thinking---i can do this! only 2-4 more miles! and i heard people cheering (through the muffling of my music on my ipod), "almost there! a few more miles!" one of my pet peeves is when people yell that during the race, but you still have MILES left...it's so misleading. so finally, tears filled my eyes as i saw MILE 26. i can't remember clearly, but i think i heard my parents and my friend brandon cheer me on as i approached the finish line of 26.2 miles. as i crossed the finish line, i slowed down, my knees buckled and felt like they were in some kind of electric shock. i felt like i had cramps all down my legs. but...i had FINISHED. i had persevered through the anguish and torment that i put my body and mind through! all of the training paid off, my determination and strong-will that i was going to finish a full marathon race. the rest of the day is a blur now. i'm pretty sure i slept that afternoon in the hotel room, but my body was the sorest it has ever been. every single muscle and joint and bone just ached. but it felt so good.
this is the part where i make the analogy- how life is like a full marathon race. i guess you could say daily we are training. in my case, i am "training" for school and to be a dental hygienist, and i am "training" in my walk with Christ...these 2 things are my focus and goal. and the "race" is also school and passing boards and graduating. and although the training may be the hardest experience and the most intense, painful thing i have done, it will be worth it at the finish line. the trials i face in school and in my faith are part of my training for the actual RACE---for LIFE---and for when i cross the finish line...if i am determined and persevere in those little trials and bigger situations, the Lord is faithful to His promises and His Word to bring me through. wow, what a relief. i can wipe the sweat off and can leave behind all anxieties i have about "finishing" and know that the Lord will fill me with His joy and strength to cross that finish line and be victorious! and although every muscle, joint, and bone may be sore---my heart may ache, my mind and brain may be fried, etc., it will feel so good...oh to follow HIM, trust HIM, give HIM my griefs and anxieties, tears, and pains, and let Him carry me. what a relief in this marathon called life.