happy spring day!

so yesterday was a beautiful day! and for half of it i was couped inside at youth villages cleaning kids/adolescents' teeth. youth villages is a "facility" for kids who have trouble emotionally and who may act out from the emotional trouble they are going through. well, i always get nervous with this rotation (urban smiles). i feel so awful for the kids we see because of their home life and their family situations. they love attention and they love that we are "nice" to them and are helping them keep their teeth clean. yesterday, one of my patients was a little 10 year old boy. as i was finishing up flossing him and giving him his fluoride, i started to ask him if he had eaten lunch and what it was. he sortof made a sad face and said, "i don't want to go back! i want to stay here with ya'll!" and i asked, "well you don't want to go see all of your friends and go eat a yummy lunch?" and he said kindof shyly, "no, i don't want to, because ya'll are nice to me". ahhh. with everything in me i tried not to tear up under my goggles and mask! this rotation is so rewarding but also so challenging and hard to see these kids and find out what they are going through and how they must feel. and how blessed i am. it always fires something in me to give back and i wanted to adopt this little boy!!!

well, i am back at the poplar house which has been refreshing! even though my board exam is over, i still have alot to do before the end of the semester and graduation. the race is still going and won't be over until may 28th...which equals the finish line for me :) and i cannot wait. it will be a bittersweet time. i feel like my class has bonded- the 29 of us- because we go to class as one group, we celebrate birthdays together by going to dinner, we had a good-bye party for one of our teachers the week before spring break and had a potluck! all 29 of us contributed something. and we cry, laugh, get frustrated, etc. together. as challenging as things can be, we sortof lean on each other. and i have learned more these past 2 years in this program than ever that i cannot rely on my own strength. it always goes back to the Lord and how i need Him and need to trust His ways are better. and that He sympathizes with me in my weakness and griefs...and is faithful to bring me through in His timing. (the picture at the top is of our class from last year's halloween after one of our pre-clinic days!)

i read the other day in a devotional by Beth Moore called "Breaking Free". she was referring to 2 chronicles 31/32 and how king hezekiah (a young king) was being attacked by the king of assyria. and hezekiah, trusting in God, told his men that the God would protect them and they would defeat the king of assyria, they just simply had to trust in His strength. well the king of assyria had sent a message to them sortof mocking them and mocking their God. after king hezekiah and the prophet isaiah had prayed, verse 21 says, "and the Lord sent an angel, who annihilated all the fighting men and the leaders and officers in the camp of the Assyrian king. so he withdrew to his own land in disgrace. and when he went into the temple of his god, some of his sons cut him down with the sword"...and verse 22 "so the LORD saved hezekiah and the people of jerusalem from the hand of the king of assyria and from the hand of all others. He took care of them on EVERY SIDE".

how untrusting and doubtful i am to even pray sometimes about things! because i want my way so much or i don't want to trust Him with certain things...but i can pray to Him about anything. and trust His goodness and strength instead of relying on my own confidence.

spring "cleaning"

it's been a while since my last post...in a nutshell, i've been studying my days away. 10-12 hours a day...for 9 days. my entire spring break consisted of nothing but my eyes scanning and reading pages from a dental hygiene board review book. i got some bad news the other day about school, i sortof expected it to come but i ignored the grade i was making in the class and assumed it would just "go away" if i ignored it long enough. but it didn't. and i have gotten myself stuck in a situation that's not at all pleasant, but when you don't put forth effort in a course you know you're going the wrong direction in, what do you expect? well this added with my boards has been overwhelming to say the least. but i'm reminded of the verse here on my blog. to run the race marked before us...fixing our eyes on JESUS. we make mistakes and are stagnant in our sin, but Jesus is our blessed hope. i have the rest of this semester to make up this grade, but my encouragement and motivation should be ultimately to do all things for Him. since He IS the author and perfector of faith and fashioner of my life and all aspects of it. also, i'm reminded of the verse in philippians that talks about He who has started a work in you WILL bring it to completion. what a relief! so starting TODAY, in all things, might the Lord be my KING and focus of my eyes. it's time to "clean" out my life and confess and renew. it is a new season of rejoicing in a Creator and Maker who loves us and does not leave us on our own. rejoice! and happy spring!!
well, i have to make this short- it's church time!

productive day

today proved that studying ALL day is possible. i did a long run this morning- 10 miles on the treadmill. i couldn't actually imagine doing this, but it is possible. i couldn't actually imagine studying ALL day in one place, but it is possible. the run was successful, after a few minutes of contemplating whether or not i wanted to put my body and mind through that torture of being on a treadmill for 1 hour and 40 minutes. but i kept entertained by listening to about 8 songs i downloaded earlier, a sermon by ronnie stevens, and replayed the same 8 songs as i wrapped up the 10th mile.
in the sermon i listened to, ronnie stevens talked about First Evan and the World. somewhere in the pssage he was reading from (luke 4), he started talking about how Jesus' "occupation" was preaching the Word. that His entire identity and "job description" was glorifying the name of God. and ronnie said something like, "what does your identity come from with what you do"? "do you do it because you want to ? because you make alot of money? because it's something you like doing?" would we honestly be able to say we do our job or we do this or that because we want to glorify the name of God? this made me think about studying today and doing ALL things to the glory of God. whatever little thing i am doing, O Lord help me glorify your name and draw others to you! in the workplace, at school, interacting with patients, studying, running, etc. may they all be for your glory!
i don't really have much more to add to this post, since my day consisted of running, showering, eating, and studying. pretty eventful, right?

1 peter 5:6-7

"cast all of your anxieties on HIM, because...HE cares for you". this verse crossed my mind this morning, as it does most days when i start freaking out about life and what i have to do to get through one day of this semester. this morning i got overwhelmed thinking about how many patient credits i don't have, i still have local injection shots to get, i have boards in 2 weeks (from today), and the SRTA exam...which we have a "book" on that we have to study pretty much from now until june 4th. and i have to find a SRTA patient that meets all kinds of qualifications. today was one of the most overwhelming days as far as processing SRTA information. it sounds like some kind of horrible, freakish reality show episode.
well i'm taking a break from studying, but i just had to share this verse...because Jesus calls us to cast anxieties on Him...simply because He cares about them and holds all things, all parts of our lives together. a relief, but almost too good to be true...it's so hard to actually grasp that. i know i will make it through this semester---but just like running, it will take hard discipline and training.
i have another long run tomorrow- 10 possibly! hopefully no stomach-ache or issues will hold me back. i'll be sure to stay away from west st. diner, cow farms, being out of the middle of nowhere, or a combination of all 3. and even though i am officially on "spring break", my days will consist of 10-12 hours of studying. SB 2010- "passing dental hygiene national boards!"

"the last lecture"- randy pausch

i think everyone should listen to randy pausch's last lecture- it puts life into perspective and refreshes your view on living each day to the fullest. if you don't know who randy pausch was, he was a professor at carnegie mellon college and was dying of cancer- he was given several months to live and in those months had designed this lecture and gave it to his students as an inspirational message for them to chase their dreams. and have fun. at the end, he says that he wrote the lecture and gave it for his kids---and that someday they would watch it when he's gone and would be reminded to live every day like it is their last. we watched this today with my class...one of our dearest teachers is leaving and taking a new job. today was her "last lecture" with us, but she showed this video at the end. we were all crying! i had to get away from the swarm of estrogen, but the tears just kept coming. it was definitely an emotional afternoon. this teacher was one of the most inspiring and encouraging teachers i have ever had, and she challenged us daily not just in our schoolwork but in life lessons.
here is the link to the video---
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R9ya9BXClRw

9 miles and a horrible stomach-ache

So yesterday was another long run day...9 miles. yes, crazy, i know. i intended on running 10 miles, but let me tell you about my interesting (if that can even describe it) run. i'm just going to start from the beginning of yesterday, so if this sounds a little diary-ish, i just have to go through the whole day to get to how i ended my run. well yesterday my parents and i went to church. it was the mark of the 75th anniversary of first evangelical church, very exciting! i went to first service where i heard pastor ronnie stevens talk about an interesting passage about Jesus being rejected at nazareth. i love pastor stevens and miss his sermons! he is very powerful in his speaking. during 2nd hour, i skipped out on sunday school to study...and my dad had guardian duty, so i rode around in the backseat with the window down while we patrolled the parking lots...it was actually really fun! and relaxing! as we rode around, we saw the likes of an older woman just strolling around the neighborhood in her pink velvety warm-up suit and black sketcher-like shoes, pastor taylor park and the photography people setting up for the congregation picture that was going to be taken at 12:15 in front of the church, and people leaving in and out of the parking lot. it was such a beautiful day, i just couldn't wait to get home to start on my 10 mile run! well, we then made the tough decision of where to eat after church, and little did i know- that would be the start to what my title so well-describes. we ate at west st. diner, this cute yummy diner in germantown. of course, my usual meal there is chicken tenders and 2 veggies and sweet bread! during lunch, my dad and i were talking about long runs and how bored we get just running around our neighborhood and doing the same "trail" over and over to equal the number of miles we need. so i decided with him that i would try something different..."dad- how about if you drop me off on fisherville road (near a lake/park) and i'll run 5 down that road and 5 back, and you can pick me up from the beginning when i'm done?" well we got back to the homestead and jumped in the car to head to fisherville rd- a "country" road, nonetheless. it almost feels like a different world down this road- cow farms, very open fields, kindof a small-town feel. the cow farms were the funniest part...here i am chugging along down fisherville rd (the name pretty much gives what this street was away). all of the sudden to my left i look over and cows are literally just a few feet away from me behind a fence...it seemed as though they were staring and either judging my pace or wanting to jump that fence and join me. either one, it frightened me! and they would start running in the opposite direction i was which i thought weird. i finally made it to the 5 mile mark and headed back towards where i started so that my dad could come pick me up. as i approached about mile 6 or so of my run, i experienced what i experience far too often, but definitely did not want to experience on this particular day in the middle of fisherville road- A HORRIBLE stomach-ache. i mean, the kindof stomach-ache where your vision gets a little fuzzy, you get chills, and you just feel like mt. kilomanjaro erupted. now, i have to admit, i have a sensitive stomach. the littlest jolt/anxiousness will trigger something! and on this particular long run, i knew this was bad news. this was the worst part- i looked over to my right (at this point, i was walking, trying everything i could to keep mt. kilomanjaro's eruption from erupting out), and i see one of the 2 or 3 cow farms and the big, vast land that oh! a family owns!? and a woman was on her cellphone leaving their farmhouse/outhouse type place...and all i could think or envision myself doing was to immediately jump over their fence, sprint to where she was, and cause a scene by waving my hands in the hair yelling that i need to use their bathroom! haha, i'm glad that was only what i envisioned and didn't really happen. i built up the courage to call my dad and ask him to come and get me---my chariot found me, escorted me back to my house, and the rest is history- i finished my long run doing 3 miles on the treadmill after i made sure mt. kilomanjaro had settled. hmmm, lesson to be learned? probably more than one- maybe don't eat west st. diner on the day of a long run, if i DO plan on eating that, plan A should be run around the neighborhood where i am close to a bathroom (accessible) and close to home. you know what the light at the end of the tunnel was? a little phrase that i heard over and over again as a child watching "the wizard of oz"---"There's no place like home!"

"my grace is sufficient for thee" 2 cor 12:9

i love this passage of the Bible. i just read this devotion by charles spurgeon and this is the last part of it that refers to that verse:
"He who would glorify his God must set his account upon meeting with many trials. No man can be illustrious before the Lord unless his conflicts be many. If then, yours be a much-tried path, rejoice in it, because you will the better show forth the all-sufficient grace of God. As for His failing you, never dream of it--hate the thought. The God who has been sufficient until now, should be trusted to the end."
this much-tried path is something we all face in different ways. for me now, it is school, relationships, friendships, focusing on Jesus, learning, growing, just day-to-day little situations. and how much do i complain and groan about my cirumstances? about studying and things i am not content in? and this passage says that God's grace is sufficient...it is made perfect in our weakness. and we are to rejoice in it! i also love the last sentence Spurgeon says, "as for His failing you, never dream of it- HATE the thought...and He who has been sufficient until now, should be trusted to the end". what a comforting statement and reminder. and what an amazing God who is personal, can give us strength in our weakness, pardons our sin by His Son's death, and can be TRUSTED and never fails. i think about a song by chris qualia ? called "your love never fails". here are some of those lyrics:
"You stay the same through the ages
Your love never changes
There maybe pain in the night but joy comes in the morning
And when the oceans rage
I don't have to be afraid
Because I know that You love me
Your love never fails
The wind is strong and the water's deep
But I'm not alone in these open seas
Cause Your love never fails
The chasm is far too wide
I never thought I'd reach the other side
But Your love never fails."
Lord, bring me joy in hard circumstances, in trials and even the smallest of things that i groan and whine about. Help me rest content in your plan for my life, in your Will and timing. give me strength to rejoice even in my weakness...for you will never leave me and your love never fails.