good lyrics

so a friend called me this morning and really encouraged me with some lyrics of a song. her phone call and others the past few days have been a provision and blessing from the Lord in directing my heart back to Him when it wants to wander so quickly to other things for satisfaction. the lyrics come from jesus i my cross have taken...these are the verses that stood out in my mind as i listened to this song this morning:
Jesus, I my cross have taken,
All to leave and follow Thee;
Destitute, despised, forsaken,
Thou from hence my All shalt be.
Perish every fond ambition,
All I've sought or hoped or known;
Yet how rich is my condition!
God and heaven are still my own.

Man may trouble and distress me,
'Twill but drive me to Thy breast;
Life with trials hard may press me,
Heaven will bring me sweeter rest.
Oh, 'tis not in grief to harm me
While Thy love is left to me;
Oh, 'twere not in joy to charm me
Were that joy unmixed with Thee.

Haste, then, on from grace to glory,
Armed by faith and winged by prayer;
Heaven's eternal day's before thee,
God's own hand shall guide thee there.
Soon shall close the earthly mission,
Swift shall pass thy pilgrim days,
Hope soon change to glad fruition,
Faith to sight, and prayer to praise.

grateful

i am battling with so much and feel weighed down. not knowing the next step in my life not knowing what to do. i feel so alone and broken. i share my struggles in hopes that they clear my mind and can encourage others. the good i see in it is something i am grateful for and want to praise God for even in the pain. i feel God's presence in my heart more than ever. i know He is working and He is directing my every step. He is near to me and i am comforted by that. but what a constant battle i have daily to actually see that and want to believe it out of my sinful nature. sometimes i feel it would be easier for me to not see it or not believe it. but how close my God keeps me is amazing and changes my heart to want to know Him more. i have so much on my heart right now. i daily want to take each and everything to Him and present them before Him...knowing that He already knows everything, but reminding me what a loving and compassionate and personal God i can come to. i'm learning a lot from hard things. i'm learning to communicate, to be vulnerable, to say something when i need to, to speak my mind and my feelings, to not bottle up things inside until i explode. to rest in that people and first and foremost Christ could love me first and want me. these are all things i am considering and listening to grateful for your love by ellie holcomb. i'm sure i have already written her lyrics on this blog, but i love them here they are:
"Love is an Ocean
Hope is a Promise
Light is overtaking
Grace is overwhelming.


You chased us into the dark and Lord we're grateful, oh we're grateful
You captured our hearts with your love, Oh Lord you're Faithful, You are Faithful.
Nothing we've ever done was too much for you to handle on the cross
We're grateful for your love.


Weight is lifted
Mercy tore the curtain
Sin is no master
Freedom calls our name.


Life is granted
Chains have been broken."


-Ellie Holcomb, Grateful for Your Love -Magnolia EP

choosing to believe this today

today. right now marks talking with my God. bringing HIM my concerns and worries. talking to HIM first. seeking HIM. how selfish i am with my thoughts and voice to not talk with the One who loves me and created me to do so and to glorify Him with all that i am. thank you Lord for speaking these words to me today.
“I am working on your behalf. Bring me all your concerns, including your dreams. Talk with Me about everything, letting the Light of My Presence shine on Your hopes and plans. Spend time allowing My Light to infuse your dreams with life, gradually transforming them into reality. This is a very practical way of collaborating with Me. I, the Creator of the universe, have deigned to co-create with you. Do not try to hurry this process. If you want to work with Me, you have to accept My time frame. Hurry is not in My nature. Abraham and Sarah had to wait many years for the fulfillment of My promise, a son. How their long wait intensified their enjoyment of this child! Faith is the assurance of things hoped for, perceiving as real fact what is not revealed to the senses.”

so this past weekend was the st jude half marathon. SUCH a fun day! on the way there, i always get nervous and my stomach gets in all kinds of knots. thankfully my dad took me again this year and dropped me off while he went to the peabody to grab a hearty breakfast and i froze with the chilly wind blowing as i anxiously waited in my corral. the weather was beautiful, even though it was a tad cold. the worst part of it is the waiting. the morning of the race, everyone is so eager to get to running and it seems like we are waiting an eternity to cross the starting line and make our way 13.1 miles! (or 26.2). i ran into two friends which was great and helped settle some of my anxiousness. finally, around 8:14 am, my corral came to the starting line...and we were off! my goal was to run about a 9:40-9:45 mile, and i ended up doing about a 9:01 mile...and finished in 1:57:56...i think a personal best! long runs for me have become praise sessions lately. as much pain and struggle as i sometimes feel and feel like i can't continue any further, i have been listening to more and more worship music. this has brought so much encouragement in my running, because instead of thinking about the struggling and that i can't sometimes breathe well, i find myself being reminded to praise and thank the Lord for everything in my life and who He is in my life. which alluding to reality, it makes me think of our Christian walk/"run"/growth, where even in the hard things and struggles, we are called to give the Lord everything and to praise Him and be thankful in all things. i am signed up for the nashville country music half in april! hopefully running with my cousin...who is also now addicted to running! a song to download for inspirational running- waiting here for you by the passion band.
i have been amazed this past week at the Lord's provision in my life. last week was one of the hardest i have been through in a while, and even though it was difficult, it was humbling in that it turned my attentions to Him and to rely solely on Him. i constantly thought last week OK Lord i know you don't give me more than i can handle, but this sure seems like more right now! but He is faithful even in my doubting. so much was going on last week, it became a blur. something someone said to me recently (older wiser advice) was sometimes when we are listening for what the Lord wants, our thoughts cloud our thinking and sometimes we want to talk to a bunch of people and try to hear the answer we think we need to hear, but she said the one way that the Lord has truly made His presence known and spoken to her was when she was walking and by herself and she was just simply PRAISING God and being quiet in her mind...and the Lord calmed her and she knew He was there and speaking to her in the quietness.
so many things to learn about our Savior and His workings in our lives. i am humbled that He so desires to know us and know our hearts.
yay successful run...check. paper...almost check. finals...coming soon! happy monday!!! and beginning of december! 20 days until CHRISTMAS!