grateful

i am battling with so much and feel weighed down. not knowing the next step in my life not knowing what to do. i feel so alone and broken. i share my struggles in hopes that they clear my mind and can encourage others. the good i see in it is something i am grateful for and want to praise God for even in the pain. i feel God's presence in my heart more than ever. i know He is working and He is directing my every step. He is near to me and i am comforted by that. but what a constant battle i have daily to actually see that and want to believe it out of my sinful nature. sometimes i feel it would be easier for me to not see it or not believe it. but how close my God keeps me is amazing and changes my heart to want to know Him more. i have so much on my heart right now. i daily want to take each and everything to Him and present them before Him...knowing that He already knows everything, but reminding me what a loving and compassionate and personal God i can come to. i'm learning a lot from hard things. i'm learning to communicate, to be vulnerable, to say something when i need to, to speak my mind and my feelings, to not bottle up things inside until i explode. to rest in that people and first and foremost Christ could love me first and want me. these are all things i am considering and listening to grateful for your love by ellie holcomb. i'm sure i have already written her lyrics on this blog, but i love them here they are:
"Love is an Ocean
Hope is a Promise
Light is overtaking
Grace is overwhelming.


You chased us into the dark and Lord we're grateful, oh we're grateful
You captured our hearts with your love, Oh Lord you're Faithful, You are Faithful.
Nothing we've ever done was too much for you to handle on the cross
We're grateful for your love.


Weight is lifted
Mercy tore the curtain
Sin is no master
Freedom calls our name.


Life is granted
Chains have been broken."


-Ellie Holcomb, Grateful for Your Love -Magnolia EP