a new journey

honestly, i dislike the word journey. i think it is way over used and i especially don't like it in the context of the bachelorette.
the "new journey" i want to describe to the blogging world that is happening in my life currently is the journey of developing a strengthened faith and trust in my Savior. my whole life, since i can remember, i have been saved. i have grown up in church and a Christian home and school. i know all of the right things, i have lots of KNOWLEDGE...but when it comes to actually BELIEVING God, i feel very lacking in this. i feel lacking in my faith and trust in His Power and the Power of His Holy Spirit working in my life.
to sortof develop the background of my journey, i just started reading a book by Beth Moore called Believing God. it is one of her devotional books...amazing. i recommend that everyone get this book. i wish i had it with me right now to type out every fabulous quote that she catches my eye with.
basically, the premise of the book is to develop a deeper BELIEF in God...not just believing He exists or believing "in Him"...but actually truly believing Him, and how this is lived out in our lives as we apply this concept. it is certainly hard for me to grasp. WHY would i believe Him? HOW do i believe Him? HOW is my faith strengthened? the reasons for believing God and having a strengthened, deeper faith are obvious. the HOW to believe God and have a strengthened, deeper faith are also obvious and very challenging because of our sinful nature. this nature, i am SURE, is what keeps me from truly believing God. i know for sure that it is my sin that keeps me from knowing and loving Him more. the way to continue in our faith, to have it strengthened, and develop that deeper trust is to abide in Him, remain close to Him- spend time in and trust His Word, pray & communicate with Him daily- recognize that we need His power & salvation.
it's amazing how we can be so close to the Lord in our lives, and yet return to our sinfulness. i am amazed by His goodness & love for me...and OFTEN wonder why i let myself be tempted & give in when His mercy and love have covered that ugliness & it was covered at a price of death. let grace not be seen as a liberty for sin, but an oppression- that the thought of that grace would keep me from sinning & keep my gaze and focus on Christ.