Oh how I am savoring this promise tonight- God's loving kindness begins afresh each day- Lamentations 3:23. I needed to read this tonight.
Looking back on the past year of my life, things have changed tremendously. There are many many things that could be different had I made some different decisions in 2012. Thankfully, God is faithful and has been pursuant of drawing me to His plan for my life, when I had a "plan A" for myself that I thought was best for me. God has definitely shown me how His timing and plans are perfect for me, and I have to be patient and trusting Him in every step He shows me...thank goodness He is faithful in His loving pursuit of His children.
My life is going through many changes....and has BEEN going through changes since April when I met Kennedy. I am picking up life in Nashville and heading west to Kansas very soon, like in a few weeks. I am wedding planning and packing and finishing school. I am beyond thankful for Kennedy's patience and steadfastness in Christ- he keeps me grounded and growing in my faith.
In the midst of life and stuff and chaos going on, I'm finding it difficult to remember to trust and pray, especially pray. Prayer for me ebbs and flows. I go through phases of consistent prayer and communication with God...and then when life becomes crazy and I put other things in higher priority than spending time with Him, I lack in my closeness and reliance on Him...
I am reading through some of my old journals tonight before I go to sleep and thinking back on where I was not just a year ago but even 2-3 years ago and what I thought my life would look like then. I was in constant prayer for direction and wisdom and the Lord's strength to make it through difficult things. I read this tonight and want to take it to memory, especially during this time of my life: "A life filled with prayer is a life of great blessing"- Richard Pratt.
I forget who shared this with me, but I also wrote this down in 2008 in my journal while I was a counselor at KIVU in colorado- "peace wraps around your heart when you're able to trust God for just today and not be burdened with the if onlys, what ifs, and whys".
There are going to be continuous times of "life" and letting "life" and other priorities take precedence over our relationship and time with God...What I've been reading and thinking on tonight is "God IS" and that we can come to Him, He longs for us to come. He is MY rock. I am in a state of constant need for Him, for all that He is, for His character, His grace, His love, His rest, His mercy, His strength. And I don't deserve any of His goodness and faithfulness.
Ps 40- Yet I am poor and needy; may the Lord think of me; you are my help and my deliverer; O my God, do not delay.
I Chron 29- David's Prayer- Everything comes from you; I know my God that you test the heart and are pleased with integrity, then David said to the whole assembly, "praise the Lord your God". So they ALL praised the Lord, the GOD of their fathers; they bowed low and fell prostrate before the Lord and the King.
This is a scatter-brain post, mainly because my thoughts have been all over the place. But when I blog or read certain passages of Scripture or a quote I wrote down 5 years ago in a journal, I had no idea at that time where I would be now or experiences friends would go through that would teach me more about who God is- even if their experiences were painful. Last quote I will type out, and I thought of friends who are going through changes and hard things when I read this (from my journal in 01/05/2008):
"O fill me with your fullness, Lord, until my very heart o'er flow in kindling thought and glowing word your love to tell, your praise to show.
O use me, Lord, use even me, just as you will and when and where, until your blessed face I see, your rest, your joy, your glory share".- 'Lord Speak to me that I may Speak'- Havergal, 1872
Monday, October 21, 2013
Thursday, October 17, 2013
Tim Keller on obedience
This excerpt is from Tim Keller's "Jesus the King" that i borrowed a while back from a friend (Sarah, I have yet to get it to you, sorry!). I thought of friends who are dealing with suffering and those who have in the past and my family who has dealt with deaths and broken relationships. Tim Keller is amazing.
The Obedience of Love
"When the circumstances of life are giving you the desires of your heart, you're content. Suffering happens, we might say, when there's a gap between the desires of your heart and the circumstances of your life, and the bigger the gap, the greater the suffering. what do you do when that gap gets too wide? one response is to change the circumstances- to get off the path that's taking you into suffering. of course, sometimes this is the right response; our present circumstances may really have to change. there may be a very unhealthy relationship that needs to be ended or put on a different course, or a medical condition that needs to treated aggressively. we should not accept all circumstances with passive fatalism. many people have a pattern, however, of dealing with almost any suffering by getting out of town, breaking promises, pulling out of relationships. they invariably try to go someplace where their desires are satisfied, because they consider their desires all-important, which makes their circumstances negotiable. they are willing to do practically anything to avoid suffering. the problem is that life circumstances rarely oblige. try that new set of circumstances and in six months you'll need another set...
of course, there are times when we need to suppress our desires, because they're so often destructive, but to eliminate all desire is to eliminate our ability to love; and God made us to love.
when you look at Jesus here in the Garden of Gethsemane, he appears to be taking the first approach. he's certainly not taking the way of detachment; he's pouring his heart out. He's undone. and he's honestly and desperately asking God to change the circumstances...He's actually not taking his circumstances into his own hands. in the end, he's obeying- relinquishing control over his circumstances and submitting his desires to the will of the Father...often what seem to be our deepest desires are really just our loudest desires...Jesus is saying- I trust you no matter what i'm feeling right now. i know that your desires are ultimately my desires. do what we both know must be done-
and in so doing, Jesus is absolutely obedient to the will of God...Jesus is subordinating his loudest desires to his deepest desires by putting them in the Father's hands. as if to say- if the circumstances of life do not satisfy the present desires of my heart, i'm not going to suppress those desires, but i'm not going to surrender to them, either. i know that they will only be satisfied, eventually, in the Father. i will trust and obey him, put myself in his hands, and go forward-
in the midst of his suffering, he obeys for the love of the Father- and for the love of us.
and when you see that, instead of perpetually denying your desires or changing your circumstances, you'll be able to trust the Father in your suffering. you will be able to trust that because Jesus took the cup, your deepest desires and your actual circumstances are going to keep converging until they unite forever on the day of the eternal feast.
the love of Christ- whose obedience is wide and long and high and deep enough to dissolve a mountain of rightful wrath- is the love you've been looking for all your life. no family love, no friend love, no mother or spousal love, no romantic love- nothing could possibly satisfy you like that...all those other kinds of loves will let you down; this one never will."
The Obedience of Love
"When the circumstances of life are giving you the desires of your heart, you're content. Suffering happens, we might say, when there's a gap between the desires of your heart and the circumstances of your life, and the bigger the gap, the greater the suffering. what do you do when that gap gets too wide? one response is to change the circumstances- to get off the path that's taking you into suffering. of course, sometimes this is the right response; our present circumstances may really have to change. there may be a very unhealthy relationship that needs to be ended or put on a different course, or a medical condition that needs to treated aggressively. we should not accept all circumstances with passive fatalism. many people have a pattern, however, of dealing with almost any suffering by getting out of town, breaking promises, pulling out of relationships. they invariably try to go someplace where their desires are satisfied, because they consider their desires all-important, which makes their circumstances negotiable. they are willing to do practically anything to avoid suffering. the problem is that life circumstances rarely oblige. try that new set of circumstances and in six months you'll need another set...
of course, there are times when we need to suppress our desires, because they're so often destructive, but to eliminate all desire is to eliminate our ability to love; and God made us to love.
when you look at Jesus here in the Garden of Gethsemane, he appears to be taking the first approach. he's certainly not taking the way of detachment; he's pouring his heart out. He's undone. and he's honestly and desperately asking God to change the circumstances...He's actually not taking his circumstances into his own hands. in the end, he's obeying- relinquishing control over his circumstances and submitting his desires to the will of the Father...often what seem to be our deepest desires are really just our loudest desires...Jesus is saying- I trust you no matter what i'm feeling right now. i know that your desires are ultimately my desires. do what we both know must be done-
and in so doing, Jesus is absolutely obedient to the will of God...Jesus is subordinating his loudest desires to his deepest desires by putting them in the Father's hands. as if to say- if the circumstances of life do not satisfy the present desires of my heart, i'm not going to suppress those desires, but i'm not going to surrender to them, either. i know that they will only be satisfied, eventually, in the Father. i will trust and obey him, put myself in his hands, and go forward-
in the midst of his suffering, he obeys for the love of the Father- and for the love of us.
and when you see that, instead of perpetually denying your desires or changing your circumstances, you'll be able to trust the Father in your suffering. you will be able to trust that because Jesus took the cup, your deepest desires and your actual circumstances are going to keep converging until they unite forever on the day of the eternal feast.
the love of Christ- whose obedience is wide and long and high and deep enough to dissolve a mountain of rightful wrath- is the love you've been looking for all your life. no family love, no friend love, no mother or spousal love, no romantic love- nothing could possibly satisfy you like that...all those other kinds of loves will let you down; this one never will."
Saturday, October 5, 2013
God is bigger
in my monday night bible study we are talking about the book of Jonah this week. first you should know that our bible study is a study on how to study the bible well- by using observation, interpretation, and application. we are spending a good bit of our time in the observation part and are reading the book of Jonah for this week's study. in this week's assignment, we were to observe different parts of this story. reading this over and over again and with the "observation" mentality, i read this story differently than i ever have before. last night, i was observing the storm that happened while Jonah was on the ship after he decided to flee from God. the assignment was to "list every description of the storm- in order of its appearance in text. what do you observe"?
these were my observations:
The Lord was in control of the storm- HE hurled a great wind upon the sea.
God's hand was in the storm in creating a "mighty tempest" on the sea- so strong that the ship threatened to break up.
The sea became more tempestuous (which means it was characterized by strong and turbulent or conflicting emotion---online dictionary---)
As the sailors tried more and more to control the situation by throwing cargo over the ship and running around, the sea grew more tempestuous.
now, this is my own interpretation of the text, but the first thing that stood out to me and has stuck with my since i read this last night was GOD was in control of the storm. He was the one who hurled the storm and the winds that was throwing the ship around...i think of the "storms" in life, where i have no control and feel like my life is being thrown around in the sea, but God is here in the storm in the book of Jonah, He is the one in control of it. how comforting that is. and also as the sailors tried to take control, the sea and winds became worse...until they finally cried out to the one true God to save them.
how many times am i like the sailors...when my life is being tossed by the unconstant throws of life, and all i know to do is call out to God. a friend told me lately how she has learned in her "storm" and in this season of her life, that God is her only constant.
i'm thankful that God is in control of the storm...He is in the midst of them. and He hears my call to Him, even when i am like the sailors.
these were my observations:
The Lord was in control of the storm- HE hurled a great wind upon the sea.
God's hand was in the storm in creating a "mighty tempest" on the sea- so strong that the ship threatened to break up.
The sea became more tempestuous (which means it was characterized by strong and turbulent or conflicting emotion---online dictionary---)
As the sailors tried more and more to control the situation by throwing cargo over the ship and running around, the sea grew more tempestuous.
now, this is my own interpretation of the text, but the first thing that stood out to me and has stuck with my since i read this last night was GOD was in control of the storm. He was the one who hurled the storm and the winds that was throwing the ship around...i think of the "storms" in life, where i have no control and feel like my life is being thrown around in the sea, but God is here in the storm in the book of Jonah, He is the one in control of it. how comforting that is. and also as the sailors tried to take control, the sea and winds became worse...until they finally cried out to the one true God to save them.
how many times am i like the sailors...when my life is being tossed by the unconstant throws of life, and all i know to do is call out to God. a friend told me lately how she has learned in her "storm" and in this season of her life, that God is her only constant.
i'm thankful that God is in control of the storm...He is in the midst of them. and He hears my call to Him, even when i am like the sailors.
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