Oh how I am savoring this promise tonight- God's loving kindness begins afresh each day- Lamentations 3:23. I needed to read this tonight.
Looking back on the past year of my life, things have changed tremendously. There are many many things that could be different had I made some different decisions in 2012. Thankfully, God is faithful and has been pursuant of drawing me to His plan for my life, when I had a "plan A" for myself that I thought was best for me. God has definitely shown me how His timing and plans are perfect for me, and I have to be patient and trusting Him in every step He shows me...thank goodness He is faithful in His loving pursuit of His children.
My life is going through many changes....and has BEEN going through changes since April when I met Kennedy. I am picking up life in Nashville and heading west to Kansas very soon, like in a few weeks. I am wedding planning and packing and finishing school. I am beyond thankful for Kennedy's patience and steadfastness in Christ- he keeps me grounded and growing in my faith.
In the midst of life and stuff and chaos going on, I'm finding it difficult to remember to trust and pray, especially pray. Prayer for me ebbs and flows. I go through phases of consistent prayer and communication with God...and then when life becomes crazy and I put other things in higher priority than spending time with Him, I lack in my closeness and reliance on Him...
I am reading through some of my old journals tonight before I go to sleep and thinking back on where I was not just a year ago but even 2-3 years ago and what I thought my life would look like then. I was in constant prayer for direction and wisdom and the Lord's strength to make it through difficult things. I read this tonight and want to take it to memory, especially during this time of my life: "A life filled with prayer is a life of great blessing"- Richard Pratt.
I forget who shared this with me, but I also wrote this down in 2008 in my journal while I was a counselor at KIVU in colorado- "peace wraps around your heart when you're able to trust God for just today and not be burdened with the if onlys, what ifs, and whys".
There are going to be continuous times of "life" and letting "life" and other priorities take precedence over our relationship and time with God...What I've been reading and thinking on tonight is "God IS" and that we can come to Him, He longs for us to come. He is MY rock. I am in a state of constant need for Him, for all that He is, for His character, His grace, His love, His rest, His mercy, His strength. And I don't deserve any of His goodness and faithfulness.
Ps 40- Yet I am poor and needy; may the Lord think of me; you are my help and my deliverer; O my God, do not delay.
I Chron 29- David's Prayer- Everything comes from you; I know my God that you test the heart and are pleased with integrity, then David said to the whole assembly, "praise the Lord your God". So they ALL praised the Lord, the GOD of their fathers; they bowed low and fell prostrate before the Lord and the King.
This is a scatter-brain post, mainly because my thoughts have been all over the place. But when I blog or read certain passages of Scripture or a quote I wrote down 5 years ago in a journal, I had no idea at that time where I would be now or experiences friends would go through that would teach me more about who God is- even if their experiences were painful. Last quote I will type out, and I thought of friends who are going through changes and hard things when I read this (from my journal in 01/05/2008):
"O fill me with your fullness, Lord, until my very heart o'er flow in kindling thought and glowing word your love to tell, your praise to show.
O use me, Lord, use even me, just as you will and when and where, until your blessed face I see, your rest, your joy, your glory share".- 'Lord Speak to me that I may Speak'- Havergal, 1872
Love you!
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