Ready

Ready. This word seems to be the story of my life. I am always "ready" for the next thing. I think a good friend at Auburn one time told me she noticed I was always looking for and ready to move on to the next thing...which hit a chord with me that I couldn't enjoy the moment...but I was always ready to do something different or new or move on to the next phase of life.
Interject with: Right now, I think I am ready to move to Kansas. It hasn't hit me that this is happening Monday, but I know for 4 1/2 months I have been saying, "I can't wait to move back to Kansas" or "I am so ready for K to be home"! Don't get me wrong, these are all true. But I have been convicted in my quiet times lately to enjoy and engage in the present. The time God has allowed for me to enjoy where He has me. Just this past week, the Lord has been convicting my heart of this word "ready". This is going off on a different track with this word, but our most recent study in BSF talked about being "ready" for the Lord's return. Am I as a believer doing the Lord's work, am I being faithful in my following His leading in my life, am I living my life pleasing and glorifying to Him as if He were coming back in the next minute, am I pointing others to the love and hope I have found in Him, is there a sense of urgency in sharing Him with others? The word "ready" brings new meaning to me. As much as I am READY for Kennedy to come back? Am I just as ready, excited, and looking forward to the return of my Lord and Savior? I also am thinking about once I get back to Kansas, I will be getting our apartment "ready" for Kennedy's return...am I making "room" and priority in my heart and asking the Lord to do deep cleaning in my heart in preparing for HIS return? Between now and June, I am continuing wedding planning (and let's be honest, my MOM is the one and only incredible wedding planner) but I will be preparing for and getting ready for the wedding celebration ceremony for my groom, Kennedy...am I getting ready for the ultimate, perfect, unconditionally loving groom, Jesus?
So I want my questions to myself daily to be this...Danielle, are you making the most of your days, minutes, seconds? Are you getting to know Jesus more and more and love Him more and more? Are you READY and looking forward to and watchful for Jesus' return? Are you willing and open to sharing this hope?
I know I have learned things through Kennedy and mine's time apart, but just recently, this has struck an eye-opening, heart-opening, mind-opening conviction.

"Therefore keep watch, because you do not know on what day your Lord will come."

Matthew 24:42

 

"And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, 'Behold, the dwelling place of God is with man. He will dwell with them, and they will be his people, and God himself will be with them as their God. He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away'."

Revelation 21

 

"He who testifies to these things says, 'Surely I am coming soon.' Amen. Come, Lord Jesus!"

Revelation 22:20



Memory lane

When I've found myself sad when Kennedy is so far away, I like to reminisce on some old memories that we have. Kennedy brought up that we have been married for almost 8 months and have not known each other quite a year yet...so we have been married the majority of our length of time of knowing each other if that makes sense. All that to say, there hasn't been a moment since Kennedy and I started dating and now where I have questioned if our story has been a part of God's plan. I'm thankful for the circumstances that have brought us both where we are today and have brought us together. When talking to a friend the other day, we agreed how important it is to marry your best friend. I want to say it is necessary...but I know that certain situations and things that come in life would be so much harder in marriage if not walked through with your best friend.
Kennedy sent me this in part of an email back last June- which was about a month and a half after we started dating:

All of the events of our lives have been part of God's plan to bring the two of us to where we are right now in our lives.  That in and of itself is enough to make me really happy with what I think he has planned for us and our future together.  I hope and pray that no matter the happiness, the sadness, the joy, the trials, whatever the situation, you remember what it feels like when God draws you to himself and says, don't worry about your future.  I have plans for you and they are ultimately for your good and not your harm.

I really like the last part as he was emphasizing the verses in Jeremiah, that God knows the plans He has for us. Last April was when we were "matched"/brought together, the weekend after we met in Huntsville for the first time, then the second time we actually spent time together in person, we started officially dating. It is funny to think about how quickly we got to know each other, but I knew he was my best friend from very early on. I remember before we met up, we had only talked on the phone a few times and we would talk for several hours at a time, and then kennedy would graciously let me go at about 11 pm because I was waking up at 4 am to go workout before work :). I kept asking him the day we met up what he would be wearing, because I could probably pick him out in the crowd, but it would help me recognize him quicker I thought. We laughed about this for a while later, but he told me he was going to be wearing jean shorts (in a very serious tone)...which I was really hoping he wasn't...but I kept telling myself it was ok if he showed up in blue jean shorts, because I really liked his personality and that we grew to know each other so well so quickly. So fashion was not a HUGE priority. Thankfully, though, he did not show up in jean shorts. Another funny thing I remember from the beginning is Kennedy saying he never met someone who texted as much as I did...I think I reeled him into being a major texter now.

I remember when Kennedy drove up from Enterprise to meet my parents, and then I went down to Tampa to meet his. The first few weekends we hung out, which were in various locations- Huntsville, Auburn, Orlando, etc., we spent a lot of time playing Mad Libs...and Sudoko. One specific memory I have that I cherish is when we went to Orlando to a conference with my church group in Nashville- Kennedy met me there and went to the conference with us. I think the weekend before is when I got to meet his family very briefly for the first time and then we had several hours to kill before meeting everyone...so we decided to go sit at the beach and chill. I think we had two chairs, the Sudoku book, and we sat there playing Sudoko and talked. I think we walked a little bit up and down the beach, which if I haven't mentioned, I am not a fan of birds. And Kennedy would walk in front of me or run ahead of me to chase the birds away so they didn't come near us. I would say it was this day that I knew I cared for Kennedy and wanted from that moment to spend the rest of my life sitting around playing Sudoko or Mad Libs or contemplating life love and other mysteries with him. Kennedy and I have had some good and funny times, and also this more recent circumstance we find ourselves in...but I go back to what Kennedy emphasized from the verses in Jeremiah that God has plans for us that are for our good not our harm...and for our good means what is most glorifying to HIM. 

CA recap

The pics below kind of sum up the past week, except probably don't come nearly close enough in showing how much I enjoyed my time with Kennedy's family (bro, bro's wife, their kids, and his sister Sarah). I'm so thankful during the time he has been gone, I've been able to get to know each of the siblings and his parents better. 

Monterey is beautiful. The sunrises left me speechless and The Lord definitely captured my attention with His creation. I found refreshment in spending time in his word in the mornings on the porch which had a magnificent view of the sunrise each day. Every day I was there, it was sunny and warm. We enjoyed a picnic lunch, fun times at different parks, tasting Alyssa's yummy cooking, quality time with the kiddos, watching movies at night, reading books with the kids, hiking, kayaking with the sisters, sooooo many fun things. I do a lot better recapping and describing through writing. But even trying to put into words on here is hard to describe what a fun time we had! 

Kennedy's fam has blessed me so much in knowing them and have opened my eyes to seeing more the depth of the love of Christ. My family in particular has shown me so much grace and love and support that have gotten me through these many hard days and for that I am very grateful! Without them, I wouldn't have gotten through the hard places.  The more I recognize these things, I am all the more grateful...and am all the more encouraged to know The Lord deeper and share Him with others. 

I'm looking forward to warmer weather...and spring...because that means my hubby is coming back soon. 

Praying this wk for The Lord to continue to shape me and mold me into a godly, disciplined woman, wife, sister, friend, and daughter. And to take every thought captive in being mindful of Christ's example.

Philippians 4:8

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. (Philippians 4:8 ESV)

CALI, here I come!

Tomorrow morning I leave for Cali :) It has been almost 15 years since I was there last. My family and I went when I was in 6th grade and made a vacation of the San Diego Zoo and San Francisco Fisherman's Wharf. That is about all I remember down that memory lane.
This trip to Cali has a whole new excitement- and by "new" I mean I get to spend quality time with my "new" family- Kennedy's bro and his precious family. ALSO, one of Kennedy's sister will be there! I am looking forward to hanging out with them & getting to know them. Kennedy and I haven't seen them since last May, which was the first time I met Carl & the kids. I had known Kennedy's bro's wife in college, funny enough! We lived in the same dorm freshman year, but obviously college was many years ago I am ashamed to say. So, it is fun to have that connection and to become not only friends but sisters!
I came across this quote today in the newest issue of Tabletalk that Kennedy and I received. If you don't subscribe to this magazine, you should. It is totally worth it. The quote is by St. Augustine:

 

"That GOD may be loved, the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts, not by the free choice whose spring is in ourselves, but through the Holy Spirit, given to us." 

 

 

What I gather from this quote in this point of life is gratitude...that I am thankful it is not up to me to gain favor or salvation from God...but it has already been done and completed in Christ...and that by our own "free choice" or left to ourselves, we cannot love God. It is THROUGH the Holy Spirit, given to us BY God that we can love Him. Maybe it is the older I get, but I am seeing how my heart is not prone to love God. It is like training for a marathon or eating healthy every day and committing to those things that I have to train my heart every morning to lean on and rely on God. Without His perfect love, my heart would not choose to love Him.

This quote and the place I find myself in life remind me of His perfect, unfailing, constant love. It reminds me of this precious hymn:

 



O to grace how great a debtor
Daily I'm constrained to be!
Let that grace now like a fetter,
Bind my wandering heart to Thee.
Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it,
Prone to leave the God I love;
Here's my heart, O take and seal it,
Seal it for Thy courts above.

Being still

I love days where I am forced to stay in. It makes me sit and rest but also I have time to get schoolwork/other things accomplished that I wouldn't have done otherwise. So today besides schoolwork, I also want to be still and sit in God's Word. Ps46-

Be STILL and KNOW that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth! The Lord of hosts is with us, the God of Jacob is our fortress.

 

The Lord is calling me to that this morning. To be still, turn off distractions, really remember and know who God is.