lift my life up

This song has been an encouragement to me lately. I started listening to it on Sunday morning...as my mom and I drove all day Saturday, this song came on the radio several times en route. The lyrics stuck in my head. On our drive, I was thinking about the changes Kennedy and I were about to enter into---living in Kansas, a new place for both of us, being a married couple, and the first time we have lived life together. 

Mom and I got to Kansas Saturday afternoon. We were able to stop through STL and visit with a good friend for breakfast. We were on a mission, though, to get to Manhattan, KS! We got here, unloaded my car, and rested a bit before going to dinner.

Sunday morning my mom left. It was a weird feeling. We dropped my mom off at the airport, I gave her a big hug and she told Kennedy (through little tears), "Take care of our girl!"

So, Kennedy and I were off to start married military life together- the day to day life! On Sunday afternoon we went to the gym (of course...if you know us, you know we like exercising together), and I you-tubed this video "Lift My Life Up". I listened to it over and over again, and with the thought in my head that God is faithful...He has brought me this far...why do I question things about His sovereignty or His plan? And now that Kennedy and I are married, we were starting off making "plans" and doing things together on a daily basis. 

Then Monday morning came. Kennedy and I ate breakfast and he left for work. I started getting excited about organizing everything in our apartment and emptying my boxes so I could get some of our floors looking like normal instead of cluttered with my "stuff". I was folding clothes, hanging clothes, cleaning the kitchen, etc. when Kennedy called me at about 9:30. A backstory to this is that Kennedy and I have been through a roller coaster of military life...which is apparently "normal" to be told one thing but do another. Back in the summer, Kennedy was told he would be deploying. So, we prayed/discussed about getting married in August before he would leave in September. We decided to go ahead and get married in Kansas...then September rolled around and the unit in Afghanistan became "on the fence" about their decision for if Kennedy would deploy...they said we will probably need you, then 2 weeks later they would say never mind we may not need you, then a few days/weeks later they said he was for sure not going. THAT was a roller coaster of emotions for both of us. I was semi-mentally prepared for him leaving, then became really excited about that he wasn't going and that I could move out to KS sooner than expected...we could also move up our wedding celebration to sooner (originally it was June, and we could move it to the spring). Excitement but also disappointment for Kennedy that he wouldn't deploy- this was something he wanted to do for his career. So forward we went in planning for me to move to KS sooner, wedding celebration plans unfolding sooner, and me quitting my job in Nash, packing, and finding a roommate to take my place at my condo...everything panned out how we were hoping...and forward we pressed on! 

So back to Kennedy calling me at 9:30 Monday morning. Happily unpacking and listening to the Lift My Life Up song by Unspoken, I answered the phone kind of thinking Kennedy was calling to tell me he was on his way home...but instead I answered and Kennedy says "Hey...what would you think about you moving back to Memphis for 6 months?"and I said..."What are you talking about?" And he said, "I was just told I am deploying....leaving in like 7-10 days, gone for 6 months". My heart fell in my stomach...I kindof choked and said, "Are you serious???" And he said, "Yeah, not joking, and I've gotta go talk to some people about details and I'll call you back". I choked back tears and didn't know what to say. I sat in the floor I was unpacking and tears just started coming. I waited to call my mom until Kennedy had more specific info. But as soon as he called me back and said he would come home and talk with me about everything, I called my mom and told her, and cried more. Her reaction was priceless...I kept asking "What are we supposed to do now?! What about Kennedy? I don't understand why he has to go!!" I continued to sit on the floor and pray asking the Lord WHY and WHAT IN THE WORLD DID HE HAVE IN STORE FOR US WITH HIS PLANS? WHY CAN'T HE STICK WITH THE PLAN WE HAD? WHY CAN'T THESE PEOPLE MAKE UP THEIR MINDS? 

So, Kennedy came home during lunch and we sat at the table and talked about it...and I cried more...but I remembered my mom saying that my job was to support Kennedy, that this wasn't his doings but the military's way of doing things and that I needed to be strong and rely on the Lord's will, plan, and timing for everything and that everything was going to be okay. I told Kennedy I didn't want him to go as he was telling me he didn't want to go and leave me...but I told him this was his job and my mom said everything would be fine and I could move back to Memphis/travel/etc. 

SO. since Monday we have been processing this information, feeling so loved/cared for/prayed for/supported/ and encouraged by so many. 

what are we learning? God's plan is better than ours...even though we don't see it. His plan is PERFECT. He is faithful. Why do we have to question Him when things don't go our way? we are also learning the importance of prayer, relying on the Word of God, and the importance of other believers and community who come alongside us and pray and encourage us, in which we only hope we can do the same for our friends & family in praying and encouraging them. 

More updates to come. Tentatively K Fish is leaving Dec4...and gone through April.

So here are the lyrics and the video. Enjoy!