Getting used to tears

I'm using this post as a means of bragging on my husband and praising the Lord for the gift He has given me in giving me Kennedy as a husband. As we've been going through the really long process of grief and long days of being drained, we've had to lean on each other more than ever. I'll admit that I lean on him quite a bit more often than he leans on me. And at the end of our processing conversations, he always points me back to the Lord. I'm so thankful for Kennedy because of this. God knew before time who He had chosen for me to be my best friend and I am praising the Lord throughout today for His loving kindness.
My "leaning on" Kennedy consists of tears. I'm getting used to them. If you ask anyone in my family/close friends, they'll tell you without a doubt that I NEVER cry...or it is very rare. If you were to ask my loving husband if I cry, I would be interested to know his answer. It is definitely "sometimes"/"occasionally". Growing up and before recent events, I gave in to crying when I was either really hurt or really sad. But something drastic, then, had to have happened in order for the tears to flow. Yesterday afternoon before church, I cried for a while. Kennedy would tell you it seemed to be caused by no apparent reason...But he was about to finish our reading of The Silver Chair, and I just started crying and had that stomach-deep pain. And then it hit me-the why. Even in our early stages of pregnancy, Kennedy would read to me. And we joked about it because it was too early for our baby to "hear", but he wanted to. My mind flashed forward to where we would be in our pregnancy now, and the baby would probably be able to "hear"---which would make The Silver Chair reading so special. My mind also flashed forward to what Kennedy will be like as a dad one day. I knew even before we were married that he would be an AMAZING dad....but yesterday as he was reading, I just couldn't help but think about how true that is of him. He loves to read to me. We take breaks from our tv show watching, because he wants to read. And I love it. And I know our kids will love it one day.
The Lord has been so gracious in using Kennedy's patience love and joy to point my weary heart back to Him. I told our pastor when he asked how we were doing that Kennedy had been a great blessing--and he said, "You have a great husband and an even greater God". That has resonated with me the past few weeks as I wrestle with what's in my heart and having to share that with Kennedy when I randomly start crying and how the Lord cares for me even more deeply--That in itself brings me comfort that I can share the sadness and depths of my heart with the One who created me and knows everything about me and loves me.

"He fulfills the desires of those who fear him; he hears their cry and saves them."

Psalm 145:19