"But I am Trusting"

Thankful this morning that Kennedy made it safely to Afghanistan. I think he is pretty tired and in need of lots of rest. We were able to talk a little on the phone this morning, it is his bedtime (he's going to sleep early to be able to get up early tomorrow morning for work). Thankful he was able to call! Several praises so far for Kennedy already: Safety and protection during his long travels, hopefully much needed rest tonight, he kindof has clarity as to what he will be doing, the chaplain that married us at Fort Riley is across the hall from him, and he has several friends over there that either went to flight school with him or he knew out in CA. I told Kennedy this morning that we will just think of these next few months as if he was at a summer camp working...that kindof makes me feel better.
My friend gave me a book called the One Year Book of Hope by Nancy Guthrie. I have enjoyed every page of it, and am hoping to make it a habit to read every day. One of this week's readings says this:
"But I am Trusting"-
I am dying from grief; my years are shortened by sadness. misery has drained my strength; I am wasting away from within. but I am trusting you, O Lord, saying, "You are my God!" my future is in your hands.- Psalm 31:10, 14-15
The author found out that her baby would have Zellweger Syndrome, a fatal genetic syndrome and that the baby would not live very long. She said after finding out, she and her husband went through a list of Scripture verses and found this to be full of hope (the verses in Psalm 31 above).
She says, "I would like to tell you that our desire to trust in God erased the fear we had about the future- but it wouldn't be true. what I will tell you is that we DETERMINED to trust God with the future. And it wasn't a decision we made one day for forever. It is a decision we made again EVERY day (or at least most days) and a decision we continued to make every day. It's the same for you. Will you trust God today even as your life feels shortened by sadness? Will you surrender your future into the loving hands of God?"
And the prayer: You are my God, and I want to trust you with the hurts of my past and the pain that may be in my future. Today I choose to trust you and believe you'll give me the grace to trust you tomorrow, too.

My hope for Kennedy and me in these next few months is to say, "But I am Trusting" and make that decision and commitment daily to be DETERMINED to trust God with each moment that is passing that we are not together.
My parents, who are very wise people, said (in the form of my dad bringing it up at breakfast this morning) to be strong for Kennedy and let him know I am capable of keeping up with things here so that he can go and do his job well and not be concerned and worried as to what is going on here. Can I miss him and be sad? Absolutely...but being strong, leaning into the Lord, and encouraging Kennedy is something my focus should be on instead of the sadness we may feel.
God, thank you for your Word that gives ultimate comfort. For your promises you speak through your Word that we freely have. And thank you for comforts in forms of family and friends. And thank you we can come to you with our hurts and you give us strength, peace, and meet us with open arms.
From the suggestions of our sister in law who has been through deployments with Kennedy's bro being gone, she said they kept a bucket list email thread...which I think Kennedy and I are going to try to start up. We also are going to try to read a book together, Tim Keller's The Meaning of Marriage...Since August (right before we got married) we have been saying we are going to read this book together...and we have both read it individually, but we thought it would be a good idea to start reading it together now to give us something to do and talk about together.
Closing out with a hymn I listened to over and over again yesterday: