Seasons. Winter or Spring?

I just started reading a book called "Spiritual Rhythm" by Mark Buchanan...The subtitle says "being with Jesus every season of your soul". I am treasuring every word of this book so far. Each sentence is something I've wanted to highlight or has hit home in my heart the past couple of days. The first season this book started with was Winter...let me first say that this book has a spiritual parallel. Winter is a "season" of our spiritual seasons where we feel lonely, distant from God for one reason or another, despair, just a harder season where it may be difficult to believe. So we continue to walk...maybe blindly, but knowing that this season will pass and that God will still be with us and meet us in Winter. He does not abandon us. I have felt and experienced "Winter" the past few weeks...but lo and behold in this book, I have come to the chapter of our next season, Spring. And let me tell you, I am hopeful for Spring, not only for the physical environment and weather, but a time of hope and new growth and all that the season represents- life! BUT, I am also almost sad to leave winter and to move on...because God has met me in so many out of the ordinary ways that I want Him to continue to meet me and experience Him in my loneliness and where I feel distant from Him. But, in this book, here is Spring. and here comes hope after and even maybe during a season of cold, lonely, sad times. Spring. the author says there are "certain things spring demands of us...three in particular: plowing, planting, and cleaning". I can already hear minds churning for what this may imply spiritually for us. I love this part of the chapter entitled "Plowing": "a field unplowed, unless it's being left fallow, is a field wasted. it grows weeds, perhaps a few ungleaned seeds from last year's harvest. but there's no crop. a field unplowed is an opportunity squandered. a season of renewal is, as I said, a gift. but it's also an opportunity: we can make the most of it, or miss it entirely. spring gives us a window in which, if we steward the moment well, we will reap a harvest later on; if we don't, we may not get a second chance. and next winter might be scarce. plowing is SWEATY and DIRTY. breaking ground is hard work. the only work as hard as plowing is harvesting, but harvest has its reward mixed with its labor, and that makes the work lighter. plowing is done when the promise of reward is distant and tentative. what late frost or summer hail, what draught or blight, might sweep in and wipe out all you've worked for? danger hovers over all the work until the work is done...so strong resolve is needed in spring like almost no other time. spiritually, what does it mean to plow? it means, first and most, to LISTEN...deeper attentiveness. you lean in. you WAIT, you PESTER, you DIG. you HANG ON TO GOD and wrestle with HIM ALL NIGHT if you must, and refuse to let go...Renewal- one mark is a desire for prayer and Word...hunger to meet with God...It's the time for RESOLVE- a clear and firm decisiveness around what matters. And with this resolve, you then reorder your life- how you give, pray, read, serve, think- to both reflect and nurture your resolve...if you're in springtime or just coming into spring, by all means enjoy it. but don't squander it. look closely at your life, decide where you need to join God in this season of renewal. Then take plow blade to hard earth, open it wide, and harrow it soft". I could go ON and ON sharing with you the jewel of this book. No matter what "season" we find ourselves in, God is there and meets us...This book is about BEING with JESUS EVERY season of your soul. I wonder if right now I am in Winter spiritually but I have glimmers of Spring. I feel lonely in my heart, I feel sad, and like the "snow" and "blizzards" where I can't see keep me from getting where I planned...but I have hope...I see and experience God in the places I feel like there's no way I could see Him. I see what Christmas is about more clearly this year...there are firsts that I didn't think Kennedy and I would experience that are good but also sad. But in my soul, God is showing me deeper and deeper the meaning of this season...and my heart turns to gladness and thankfulness for this baby boy Jesus who is my King and Savior...Matthew 1:18-24---an angel of the Lord appeared to Joseph saying---do not be afraid...Mary will give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus, because he will save his people from their sins". without this birth of this miraculous child, I have no hope...I have no hope in this "winter" or glimmer of hope for "spring".
I think this was as scatter-brained of a post as usual...but my heart feels heavier this Christmas on my thoughts of this season...not just for what Kennedy and I experience, but "winters" that others around us are going through. I pray for the hope of the message of this birth brings new light to a new year and spring ahead.