Come quickly to me O God

To say that I haven't cried much since kennedy has left would be lying. Many times I feel okay and outwardly I seem okay, but at the end of the day in my bed at night, I'm sad and teary eyed. But I've built up in my mind that I'm going to be okay. That I'm going to be strong. But tonight it has hit me once again that it's okay to be sad. 1- I'm sick and feverish feeling. My head and sinuses feel like theyre full of bricks. 2- the one person I want to make it feel better is kennedy. 3- it's okay tonight to cry and let some tears out. The times I most expect tears to fall are at night. So tonight is one of those where I say to myself- get it together and fall asleep or get out the Bible and turn to the psalms... I'm pretty sure that latter concept comes from God's leading because left to my own thoughts and myself i would rather ignore a psalm that says anything about finding comfort in God, because there are times where I read the words and I'm not even really reading. So tonight I am in psalm 70... And scan the chapter as most times I do to find comfort and I see verses 4-5. But may all who seek you rejoice and be glad in you may those who love your salvation always say let God be exalted! Yet I am poor and needy come quickly to me o God you are my help and my deliverer O Lord do not delay.
I know too well the latter part of these verses. But then I remember the former part that says but may those who love your salvation ALWAYS say let God be exalted. And i am also reminded this life, my circumstances- everything- this isn't about me. It is about the bigger picture. And through my tears God is working out His salvation and bringing into fruition the Gospel in my life. I was telling someone the other day that I pray God uses this time and the uprooting of my heart and breaking down of comforts to bring Glory to Himself. Because this is what my life should be about- Him. I am poor and needy. I am selfish thinking this chapter of life is one I didn't sign up for...but... Let me always proclaim and say "let God be exalted!"